We’ll leave it up to the untreatable sickos at Trash Film Debauchery to sell potential attendees on their March screening: ‘A second-hand report of a man puking after eating chicken leads a preacher to believe a vampire is afoot. Imagine Ted Cruz’s secret son was an unsexy teen vampire named Aurelius who only used his powers for ping-pong. If Twilight had a $10 budget and was somehow more emo, you’d get The Last Vampire On Earth.’ WEDS, 7 PM. $5.
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